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医学生的情人节表白

2016-02-14 MedSci MedSci原创

医学生的情人节表白:文艺版你是硝酸甘油片每次心如刀割只有你能治愈吐槽版我是一个学医的能抽出时间来和你谈恋爱难道还怀疑不是真爱么?重口味版宁为日本血吸虫此生缠绕合抱永不离你若垂死我亦绝命!惊悚版世界上最遥远的距离是你在玻璃外深情凝望而我浸在福尔马林里高大上版第一次看见你视觉冲动刺激第二对脑神经,快钠通道打开,钠离子大量内流产生去极化爆发动作电位,随后传入大脑皮质兴奋黑质,沿多巴胺能神经元上行纤维到达



医学生的情人节表白:

文艺版

你是硝酸甘油片

每次心如刀割

只有你能治愈


吐槽版

我是一个学医的

能抽出时间来和你谈恋爱

难道还怀疑不是真爱么?


重口味版

宁为日本血吸虫

此生缠绕合抱永不离

你若垂死我亦绝命!


惊悚版

世界上最遥远的距离

是你在玻璃外深情凝望

而我浸在福尔马林里


高大上版

第一次看见你

视觉冲动刺激第二对脑神经,快钠通道打开,钠离子大量内流产生去极化爆发动作电位,随后传入大脑皮质兴奋黑质,沿多巴胺能神经元上行纤维到达纹状体

Hey,you had me at hello.


装逼版

踏上了两条不归路

一条学医路

一条去往你心里的路


浪漫版

每次看到你

我的P波

不再有节奏~


高端版

肾动脉灌注压

80~180

肾小球滤过率


学术版

就如同那抗原

MHC复合体表达在体外

因为你曾进入过我的内心



但是如果你喜欢上一个医学生,该如何表白呢?

我对你的爱,就如那"心电监护"器,能给你24小时的呵护。你的微笑,就象一剂"西地兰",平复我强烈的心跳。你的话语,象10mg的"安定",总让我安然入睡。你的眼神,象输入了"复方氨基酸"一样,给了我生命的活力。

我们,就像永远伴行的静脉和动脉,一起搏动。如果我是那206快骨头,你就是那600多块肌肉,我们一起撑着生命的运动;如果你是头皮,我就是那头发,永远保护着你;如果你是心脏,我就是双肺,呼吸着供给你的能量;如果你是小肠,我就是大肠,帮你清除垃圾;如果你是眼睛,我就是嘴巴,永远在你的注视之下!

来一剂速尿吧,加速我们爱情的进程!来一剂青霉素吧,清除我们爱情的障碍,来一剂多巴胺吧,让我们的感情象血压器里的水银一样往上升,来一剂洛赛克吧,把爱情里酸的东西都除掉,留下所有甜蜜,来一剂vitk3吧,缓解所有的压力,让我们在爱情的路上走得更加平稳。

亲爱的,想象一下我们将来的生活吧,清晨,你给我做晨间护理,口腔护理,然后,执行爱的医嘱,将爱的指令输入电脑,每一项护理,都透着爱意。晚上,你用娓娓动听的声音,给我做心理护理,而我,每天都整理着爱的医嘱。你难过了,我给你加上一条长期医嘱:永远爱你!你喜悦着,我再加一条长期医嘱:永远爱你!如果我们之间的爱恶变了,我一定挥刀做根治术,让它们永远的消失!

亲爱的,我将我的爱,以每分钟60滴的速度输入你的身体,源源不断,并且,像保持稳定的血压一样保持着!你是我的天使,我生命的守护神,没有了你,就象没有了心脏一样!

情人节,你准备好表白了吗?

小编提醒:如果说不出口,可以写给她(他)哦~


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  1. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1629891, encodeId=3c1f162989143, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=0132531060a' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#情人节#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=70, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=53106, encryptionId=0132531060a, topicName=情人节)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=5dbe21374932, createdName=119337464, createdTime=Tue Feb 16 01:35:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64280, encodeId=a22c6428020, content=有意思, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=112, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=387d1660055, createdName=dhzzm, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:29:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64277, encodeId=a909642e7a0, content=有意思!, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=145, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=24721662825, createdName=1ddf23d5m57(暂无匿称), createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64274, encodeId=09ea642e430, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=157, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=e1ee1608797, createdName=huangshang9812, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 21:55:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64268, encodeId=582864268a2, content=牛气, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=133, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuHfSLw3PzIKiaSnTBUuAtRkrrxWpibukl35iciaGtBq4LYQv4ian1tPC3IdmzWI2dZ3cDC8wUg5CnBxlJ/0, createdBy=33a51675735, createdName=jiangxianchen, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 12:36:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64265, encodeId=1d7c6426592, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=103, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=121e1622385, createdName=chenhui888, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 11:19:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
  2. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1629891, encodeId=3c1f162989143, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=0132531060a' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#情人节#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=70, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=53106, encryptionId=0132531060a, topicName=情人节)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=5dbe21374932, createdName=119337464, createdTime=Tue Feb 16 01:35:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64280, encodeId=a22c6428020, content=有意思, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=112, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=387d1660055, createdName=dhzzm, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:29:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64277, encodeId=a909642e7a0, content=有意思!, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=145, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=24721662825, createdName=1ddf23d5m57(暂无匿称), createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64274, encodeId=09ea642e430, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=157, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=e1ee1608797, createdName=huangshang9812, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 21:55:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64268, encodeId=582864268a2, content=牛气, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=133, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuHfSLw3PzIKiaSnTBUuAtRkrrxWpibukl35iciaGtBq4LYQv4ian1tPC3IdmzWI2dZ3cDC8wUg5CnBxlJ/0, createdBy=33a51675735, createdName=jiangxianchen, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 12:36:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64265, encodeId=1d7c6426592, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=103, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=121e1622385, createdName=chenhui888, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 11:19:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-02-14 dhzzm

    有意思

    0

  3. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1629891, encodeId=3c1f162989143, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=0132531060a' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#情人节#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=70, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=53106, encryptionId=0132531060a, topicName=情人节)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=5dbe21374932, createdName=119337464, createdTime=Tue Feb 16 01:35:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64280, encodeId=a22c6428020, content=有意思, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=112, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=387d1660055, createdName=dhzzm, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:29:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64277, encodeId=a909642e7a0, content=有意思!, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=145, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=24721662825, createdName=1ddf23d5m57(暂无匿称), createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64274, encodeId=09ea642e430, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=157, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=e1ee1608797, createdName=huangshang9812, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 21:55:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64268, encodeId=582864268a2, content=牛气, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=133, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuHfSLw3PzIKiaSnTBUuAtRkrrxWpibukl35iciaGtBq4LYQv4ian1tPC3IdmzWI2dZ3cDC8wUg5CnBxlJ/0, createdBy=33a51675735, createdName=jiangxianchen, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 12:36:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64265, encodeId=1d7c6426592, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=103, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=121e1622385, createdName=chenhui888, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 11:19:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-02-14 1ddf23d5m57(暂无匿称)

    有意思!

    0

  4. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1629891, encodeId=3c1f162989143, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=0132531060a' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#情人节#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=70, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=53106, encryptionId=0132531060a, topicName=情人节)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=5dbe21374932, createdName=119337464, createdTime=Tue Feb 16 01:35:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64280, encodeId=a22c6428020, content=有意思, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=112, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=387d1660055, createdName=dhzzm, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:29:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64277, encodeId=a909642e7a0, content=有意思!, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=145, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=24721662825, createdName=1ddf23d5m57(暂无匿称), createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64274, encodeId=09ea642e430, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=157, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=e1ee1608797, createdName=huangshang9812, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 21:55:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64268, encodeId=582864268a2, content=牛气, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=133, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuHfSLw3PzIKiaSnTBUuAtRkrrxWpibukl35iciaGtBq4LYQv4ian1tPC3IdmzWI2dZ3cDC8wUg5CnBxlJ/0, createdBy=33a51675735, createdName=jiangxianchen, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 12:36:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64265, encodeId=1d7c6426592, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=103, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=121e1622385, createdName=chenhui888, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 11:19:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-02-14 huangshang9812

    ?

    0

  5. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1629891, encodeId=3c1f162989143, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=0132531060a' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#情人节#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=70, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=53106, encryptionId=0132531060a, topicName=情人节)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=5dbe21374932, createdName=119337464, createdTime=Tue Feb 16 01:35:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64280, encodeId=a22c6428020, content=有意思, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=112, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=387d1660055, createdName=dhzzm, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:29:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64277, encodeId=a909642e7a0, content=有意思!, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=145, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=24721662825, createdName=1ddf23d5m57(暂无匿称), createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64274, encodeId=09ea642e430, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=157, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=e1ee1608797, createdName=huangshang9812, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 21:55:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64268, encodeId=582864268a2, content=牛气, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=133, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuHfSLw3PzIKiaSnTBUuAtRkrrxWpibukl35iciaGtBq4LYQv4ian1tPC3IdmzWI2dZ3cDC8wUg5CnBxlJ/0, createdBy=33a51675735, createdName=jiangxianchen, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 12:36:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64265, encodeId=1d7c6426592, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=103, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=121e1622385, createdName=chenhui888, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 11:19:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-02-14 jiangxianchen

    牛气

    0

  6. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1629891, encodeId=3c1f162989143, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=0132531060a' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#情人节#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=70, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=53106, encryptionId=0132531060a, topicName=情人节)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=5dbe21374932, createdName=119337464, createdTime=Tue Feb 16 01:35:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64280, encodeId=a22c6428020, content=有意思, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=112, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=387d1660055, createdName=dhzzm, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:29:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64277, encodeId=a909642e7a0, content=有意思!, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=145, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=24721662825, createdName=1ddf23d5m57(暂无匿称), createdTime=Sun Feb 14 23:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64274, encodeId=09ea642e430, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=157, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=e1ee1608797, createdName=huangshang9812, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 21:55:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64268, encodeId=582864268a2, content=牛气, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=133, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuHfSLw3PzIKiaSnTBUuAtRkrrxWpibukl35iciaGtBq4LYQv4ian1tPC3IdmzWI2dZ3cDC8wUg5CnBxlJ/0, createdBy=33a51675735, createdName=jiangxianchen, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 12:36:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=64265, encodeId=1d7c6426592, content=?, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=103, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=121e1622385, createdName=chenhui888, createdTime=Sun Feb 14 11:19:00 CST 2016, time=2016-02-14, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-02-14 chenhui888

    ?

    0

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Baidu
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Baidu
map