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那些让你啼笑皆非的“奇葩”医患…

2015-02-15 momo 医学论坛网

北京妇产医院妇幼保健院医生/ 主任医师

医院这个场合总是会出产一些奇葩的人物，本人从医15载，见到的各种奇葩层出不穷，这些事迹，想想也是够了。今日小憩，将他们总结出来，各位同僚和患者中招者，请自觉转走! 1.自从当了护士，我的生活就改变了。每次使用公共卫生间，我都恨不得这样子…… 2.每次接触了“脏”东西，我都能清楚地察觉到病原体沿着我的手臂往上爬…… 3.对喷嚏之类特别敏感，因为这不仅是某人的唾液喷射，还可能是流感、SA

医院这个场合总是会出产一些奇葩的人物，本人从医15载，见到的各种奇葩层出不穷，这些事迹，想想也是够了。今日小憩，将他们总结出来，各位同僚和患者中招者，请自觉转走!

1.自从当了护士，我的生活就改变了。每次使用公共卫生间，我都恨不得这样子……

2.每次接触了“脏”东西，我都能清楚地察觉到病原体沿着我的手臂往上爬……

3.对喷嚏之类特别敏感，因为这不仅是某人的唾液喷射，还可能是流感、SARS和埃博拉……

4.高中同学会上，你发现他们对“美酒”特别在行，而你特别了解各种“糖浆”……

5.每次选择外出服你都特别纠结，因为你想让它与你手上的创可贴匹配（谁让我经常伤口不断呢）……

6.路上偶遇我的话，你的“打招呼”时间一定不能超过10分钟，我可是比习大大忙多了……

7.我建议朋友间的握手寒暄改为勾勾小手指……

8.某日突然发现舌苔颜色不对，立马紧张起来，各种不祥联想，最后发现，原来是先前吃了零食~

9.购买洗手液的花销超过房租(此描述适用江浙沪地区)……

10.为了“杀死”细菌，洗澡水可以煮熟龙虾~

11.经常洗手以致手臂皮肤粗糙得像80岁老太的手……

12.出入公众场合戴医用口罩，即使不在流感季节……

13.情人节时，与“情人”的浪漫共处是互量血压~

同僚的这些奇葩事迹，想想也并非孤例，本人就中招5、6、7、8条，职业使然，可以理解。但有些患者与医院打交道久了，也变的“奇葩”起来，看看以下这些，你的患者中有这样的没?

1. 别人开始新的一天从享受一杯咖啡开始，你却第一时间挑东挑西：这小东东是什么玩意儿?

2. 有自己的个人“保健医”，时刻关注自己的身体情况~

3. 总会和同事抱怨这脏那乱，以致别人都不知如何跟你愉快地玩耍~

4. 患上“进行性肌肉骨化症”我可以接受，问题是何时发病呢?

5. 家里的小药柜堪比医院的大药房~

6. 出门时的高级挎包塞满各种药瓶，走起路来叮叮当当……

7. 手机的快捷播键都是医生，都没地儿添加家人……

8. 春季总会忍受各种疑虑和恐惧，最后终于真的病了……

9.保留以前的诊断单，并时常翻阅，每每翻阅还会喉头哽塞~

10.偶尔会蛇精病似的练习突发疾病时如何呼救……

11.即使是出个冷汗、打个喷嚏和发个头晕也会问问度娘，确定是不是发生了大病……

12.偶尔会幻想，如果我怀孕了会是神马赶脚(PS:我是男人)……

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2016-11-28 llaq

哎。。

96 0
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2016-01-24 忠诚向上

是吗

150 0
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2015-02-17 millore

#医患#

65 0
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2015-02-17 3631175

#奇葩#

61 0
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2015-02-16 Johnny1989

已阅

140 0
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2015-02-16 windmilL1989

有趣

111 0
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2015-02-15 午夜星河

明白

143 0

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